Here I am sitting at my computer with a feeling of fear of being judged, and it’s paralyzing me today.
“You’re so fearless!”
The comments poured in on social media after I posted this photo (taken by Daniel Brasuell)
I’m definitely not fearless, is what I replied. I get nervous every time I paddle this rapid!
I think of myself as courageous – being afraid and taking action anyway.
BUT
I’ve set a new goal for myself to write a blog and send it out on Fridays. Yet I’m fearful of putting it out there. What if it’s too much to write once a week, will people like it?
Such irony to have sat down to write a blog about courage, and find myself paralyzed with fear about looking good and not being good enough.
WTH!? Life with a human brain is both a miracle and a struggle!
To break myself out of my spiral of doubt and negativity, I threw up my hands, decided it was time to give up and go for a hike with my fur baby.
As I was about to leave, I remembered that I have a business coach! In my downward spiral I had forgotten that I had actually set myself up with an effective structure for moments like this, when I needed help getting unstuck.
When I reached out to her she reminded me to focus on how I can provide value to people through my writing, and not on what other people think about my writing.
Because the truth is…
People will think what they think.
I have no control over what other people think of me or my work. I do however, have control over my intentions and my actions.
When I take the focus off of me and my fears and put the focus on my community and how I can be of service and add value, the fear loses it’s grip. Yay!
What’s interesting though, is that if I hadn’t cared about myself enough to set myself up with the powerful structure of a coach, I would be stuck in the negative spiral in my head. I know because that’s what’s happened in the past, and why I decided to hire a coach this year.
You may think of self-care as massages, yoga classes, health and wellness, and that is a big part; however, self-care is also about…
being able to ask for help!
Find a person in your life who is committed to powerfully helping you with effective suggestions/strategies to help you get unstuck and moving towards your goals.
It could be a good friend or family member (however I don’t recommend trying this with your life partner – bad idea).
If you don’t have anyone in your life that you trust to fulfill this role then consider hiring a coach.
And, because I’m a coach myself, I also know that if you hire a coach, or get an accountability partner, you’ve got to…
Be coachable
Be willing to hear what they have to say, even if it feels uncomfortable. And, be willing to try what they suggest, or at the very least, consider it as a possibility.
I operated for a long time as if I could do everything on my own. It was partially a protection mechanism and partially what I thought I should be able to do. In that mode I didn’t let people contribute to me and I didn’t ask for help.
I was too afraid of looking weak or being an inconvenience.
Asking for help isn’t weak, it’s smart. Having someone empowering in your life will empower you.
Today I was able to move from mental paralysis to completing my blog because I had someone to reach out to. Someone who could provide me with a different context and effective suggestions for moving forward.
That’s way better than spending the day stuck in my own negativity spiral!
I’ve come to learn that being powerful includes asking for help, being courageous requires vulnerability, and self-care looks like setting yourself up with empowering relationships and structures that move you toward your goals.
What’s your experience with asking for help when you need it? Who are the people in your life who powerfully help you get unstuck? Please share in the comments below!
Contact me if you have questions about, or are interested in working with a coach on and off the water! Don’t be afraid to ask questions and as for assistance!
