Are you trying to find your people? Folks who understand you, support your goals, and you can do fun stuff with?
It’s a common question I get from women, and especially in the paddling world: how do I find like-minded women to paddle with?
Here are 3 ways to help you find your people:
Reach out and invite
If you want to find your people, it’s time to reach out and invite folks to connect. Don’t wait for others to reach out to you, even if they say they will. People get busy and life happens. Don’t make people wrong for not reaching out to you. You’ll waste a lot of time assuming you know why they’re not reaching out and feeling wronged.
If they turn down your offer, don’t make them wrong for that either, and don’t let that stop you from reaching out to other folks.
Keep reaching out and inviting until you find your people. Be aware of a disempowering question that may come up as you do this: ‘Why do I have to do all the work?’ When this question comes up, because it most certainly will, remind yourself that you are not a victim. You are a courageous person taking full responsibility and action to make your goals happen. Nothing happens in life without action. The only person you can control is you.
Get present to your inauthenticities around community building
Here’s a personal example, and a true story. I’ve said in the past that I want to connect with more people in my neighborhood. But when I go out to walk the dog or do some other task and I see folks out and about, I actually observe myself trying to avoid having conversations with them. My belief is that I don’t have enough time and that if I stop and chat it’ll derail my whole day.
Do you recognize the inauthenticity here? I’m saying that I want one thing, but my actions are not in alignment with what I say I want. The impact of that is that I feel disconnected from my neighbors and missing out on rich conversations.
When I got present to my inauthenticity in this area I had to laugh a bit because it was absurd. I changed my actions and started taking time to stop, chat and connect with my neighbors.
Ask yourself: Where am I being inauthentic? What results am I getting from my inauthentic actions, and what do I want to change?
Join a class, event or community
I love watching complete strangers connect, share meaningful experiences together and become life-long friends.
Just this week a group of women who participated in my Class II -III Week of Rivers and Yoga, got together on the Yough. I loved seeing their photos and the joy they’ve found in connecting. I’ve also watched women who have met on my paddling trips like Costa Rica continue to paddle and travel together for years.
The same is true on the health coaching side. A small group of my cleanse participants choose to cleanse together one day per month as a way to connect and support each other’s health journey. That’s the power of community.
Look for mentors whom you admire and respect and join their programs. Chances are, they attract folks you’d like to get to know. Join a club or community based around the same passion or activity you’re stoked on.
After you’ve joined the program or community/club be sure to participate fully. Be proactive about bringing your full self and taking action to connect with others. Finding your people isn’t a passive activity.
Have fun finding your people!
If you want to join a community of like-minded women who love to paddle, who lift each other up in mind, body and paddling, the I invite you to check out the Mind Body Paddle Community. CLICK HERE for more info.